If we accept that performance and productivity in business life are significantly influenced by our communication skills, then how effectively we communicate with colleagues, business partners, or even friends in our private lives becomes a critical area for discussion and study. Our awareness and understanding of people—how we interpret their behaviors, respond to their emotions, and build relationships—are skills that directly shape our professional success.

One notable figure who contributed greatly to the understanding of cross-cultural communication is Dutch psychologist Geert Hofstede. During his tenure in the Human Resources department at IBM’s European headquarters, Hofstede conducted extensive research by traveling the world and interviewing employees across different cultures. This led to the development of a comprehensive framework known as Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions, designed to explain how people from various cultural backgrounds solve problems and work together. The model consists of four key dimensions:

1. Masculinity vs. Femininity

2. Individualism vs. Collectivism

3. Power Distance Index

4. Uncertainty Avoidance

For example, in a society where individualism and masculinity are at the forefront, a teacher may distribute the exam questions and leave the classroom without staying untill the end of exam, because students will be very fond of their individual success. In contrast, in a society where collectivism and femininity are at the forefront, teachers will stay in the classroom until the end of the exam and ensure fairness because students will attach importance to the success of the group they belong to. None of these approaches are inherently better than the other—each reflects the unique values of the culture in question. Accepting and adapting to these differences is key to effective communication.

A person who is aware of such cultural nuances is likely to be more successful in both professional and personal relationships.

When we look at history, we find rich examples that reflect the complexities of human communication. One particularly poignant story is that of His Holiness Ebu’l Vefa and Fatih Sultan Mehmed (Mehmed the Conqueror)—a story that reveals deep emotional and cultural undercurrents.

According to historical accounts, there was a time when Sultan Mehmed was overwhelmed and sought the counsel of Ebu’l Vefa, whom he had once saved. However, when Mehmed summoned him, Ebu’l Vefa refused to go. Determined, the Sultan rode to the dervish lodge and waited at the door—but again, Ebu’l Vefa did not receive him.

Observing the Sultan from a window, Ebu’l Vefa said to those beside him:

“He is so troubled right now that if I open the door and let him in, he will never leave. Anyone can become a dervish, but not everyone can rule the Great State. Our nation needs a skilled leader. He must find his own path—through (burning and whining) struggle and perseverance.”

As the Sultan left the lodge, he shouted:

“Vefa! Vefa! So it turns out you have no loyalty left!”

In Turkish, the word “Vefa” means loyalty, making the statement a powerful double entendre. The Sultan, recalling how he had once rescued His Holiness Ebu’l Vefa by paying the price through Karamanoğlu İbrahim Bey, felt betrayed. He expected the same loyalty in return. But emotional bonds, like the doors of the heart, do not open the way city gates do—with force, rank, or entitlement.

At this point, my favorite lecturer, the esteemed art historian Ms. Lalehan, offers a beautiful interpretation:

“This is the door to the heart—it opens sometimes, and sometimes it does not.”

Fatih Sultan Mehmed, a prominent figure in a collectivist society, naturally expected warmth and support from those he regarded as allies. However, he had yet to grasp that trust and emotional intimacy are not always freely or instantly given—they carry deeper meanings and may require time, humility, or personal growth.

On the other hand, Ebu’l Vefa, possibly unaware of how his actions might be perceived, risked appearing indifferent or ungrateful in the eyes of a society that highly values loyalty and group harmony. Without deeper knowledge of the context, one might easily misinterpret his actions as selfish or disloyal.

This story reminds us that effective communication requires more than just words—it demands empathy, emotional intelligence, and cultural sensitivity. These principles remain just as relevant today in our modern business environments as they were centuries ago in royal courts and dervish lodges.

Italian painter Fausto Zonaro’s painting “The Entry of Mehmed II to Istanbul.”

(Source of the Image: Wikipedia.)

Renovated dervish lodge of Abu’l Vefa in Istanbul, Turkey.

(Photos taken by the author.)

The remaining part of the original structure before the Dergah was renovated and the remaining part of the door that Vefa did not open to Fatih.

(Photo taken by the author.)